I am finally about to put myself to bed after a long and emotional day. Preparing for tomorrow is making me more emotional so I have decided to stop and just finish in the morning.
Noah finally woke up around 8:00 this morning and Ethan woke up around 8:15. I was able to get both boys fed, dressed, and off to school by 9:00. Dropping Ethan off went fairly well. I got a little emotional; however, I was able to leave him as he was dosing off and he seemed content. I called the school to check on him around 11:00. His teacher reported that he took two ounces from a bottle without difficulty and she said he had fussed a little but was sleeping again. I decided that since he was sleeping, I would stay a couple more hours.
I had lunch with my co-workers and enjoyed catching up with everyone. I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers at work from Ethan (Bryan). I should have taken a picture but forgot so I will have to take one tomorrow. Bryan was going to bring them home for me but he just walked in the door and said he forgot. Bryan also sent me a very encouraging e-mail, which made me cry but also gave me some comfort.
I arrived back at the school at 1:15 and thats when it happened. As I walked in the door I could hear a faint little whimper which only got louder as I got closer to Ethan's room. I soon saw the teacher bouncing a pitiful Ethan trying to comfort him with his blanket, lovey, and pacifier. Ethan was persistently fussing. I went to the teacher and took Ethan in my arms and said 'its okay Ethan, Mommy is here.' Ethan immediately opened his eyes, looked at me, and quit crying. He wasn't hungry. He wasn't having a tummy ache. He was crying for me. Needless to say, I feel awful for him.
I am having a little trouble convincing myself that 11 week old baby is benefitting from this separation. He only drank 2 ounces of milk over the course of 5 hours and he has always been such a consistent eater.
Once we got home, Ethan spent the rest of the day nursing every 2 hours and wanting to be held. Can you blame him?
Anyway, I am hoping that tomorrow goes a little better. I can't remember how this felt exactly with Noah but I know it must have been similar. I survived that and he did too. We will survive this too, right?
3 comments:
It's an adjustment for everyone. Things will certainly get better, and make your time together even more special. Just remember that you have to do what's best for your family. Sometimes that means making some tough decisions, but all change is hard, and you are a strong woman who is going to come out on the other side with beauty and grace just like you always do. Thinking and praying for you both...hang in there :)
Right! I remember Kate and Jack both not eating the first several days at daycare. They were holding out for the good stuff...but they came around and they soon formed an unbelievable bond with their school teachers.
Hang in there...it will get easier. Do not feel guilty, kids are resilient, and it'a all character building and life lessons in the making.
I'm so sorry it was so hard!! Sending you some love!!
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