That being said, through all of this I have done a considerable amount of reflection on motherhood, my responsibility or assignment as a parent, and the type of mother I want to be to my children. Recently while visiting my Mom in St. Simons Island, I heard a missionary speak about her life and calling as a mother. She explained that her husband was called into mission work and while she too felt called to mission work, her calling was quite different. She said that God revealed to her that while she could make a difference in people's lives as a missionary, she could make an even bigger impact on the world by focusing on her children at home. She said that by focusing on bringing her children into a full life in Christ, they would then take Christ to the world in a larger capacity than she would be able to on her own. In hearing this, I was brought to tears and thus began my reflection on my calling as a mother. This lead me to realize that my most important assignment as a mother, is to be a guide to my children as they learn to walk with God. I want my children to have a heart for the Lord.
Since this realization, life in the Gaspard household has begun to change. Bryan and I have realized that if we as parents aren't doing the things we should, we can't expect our children to. If we don't pray and spend time reading God's word, we can't expect our children to. If we don't attend church, our children won't feel that church is important. We have begun to spend more time in God's word independently and as a family. We are praying together as a family more often and spending more time talking openly about how God has blessed our family and about how thankful we are to God for meeting our needs and providing us with so much. We are learning to pray for those in need and look for ways we can help others and show God's love to others.
We have been working to diligently make God an integral part of our lives each day and in most everything that we do. Teaching God's word to a toddler was a daunting task for me; however, I have quickly realized that my two year old is capable of so much more than I realized. He has begun to memorize scripture and we spend time each day talking about different virtues such as being thankful, giving, obedient, etc. and then pointing out various opportunities during the day to employ those virtues. Noah has developed a love for prayer and often asks to pray more than once in his bedtime routine. The best part about the progress we make in our lives and in Noah's is watching Noah demonstrate his growing love for the Lord to his little brother. Noah is so loving and tender with Ethan. He shows him his bible stories, sings to him, prays for him, and feels very protective of him. I have realized that the impact we help to make in Noah's life will greatly affect the life of our other children. Amazing.
I have spent time reading various books including Dare to Discipline by James Dobson, Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp, and most recently Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic. I actually have only read two chapters in the last book and LOVE it so far. I wanted to share a little about what I read because I think it is profound.
Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches
(This is a book written by a mother of 5 who openly talks about being a mother to small children and the difficulties of parenting)
Chapter 2--In the rock tumbler
This chapter spends time talking about how life changes when you have children and your time isn't your own anymore, which is often a "messy" looking, loud life with a crazy schedule. The author points out that it is important to deal with yourself first before dealing with your children. When we fail, God knows that we are growing in our walk with Him when we repent and learn from our mistakes. However, we find it harder to view our children's shortcomings as opportunities for repentance and growth.
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"It is no abstract thing -- the state of your heart is the state of your home. You cannot harbor resentment secretly toward your children and expect their hearts to be submissive and tender. You cannot be greedy with your time and expect them to share their toys. And perhaps most importantly, you cannot resist your opportunities to be corrected by God and expect them to receive correction from you.
God has given us a job of teaching His law and demonstrating His grace. We are to be guides to our children as they learn to walk with God.
Sin is just a fact of life. It is the way we deal with it that changes ours."
Reading this just reinforced to me how important it is to focus on the state of my heart as a mother if I want to positively impact my children as they learn to walk with God. As my perspective on motherhood is evolving, I am beginning to realize that I have been blessed with the most important assignment of my life in mothering my children.
In my MOPS group this morning, our devotion talked about how our assignment to lead our children as they walk with God does not just impact our children, but it impacts generations. What I do now with my children will have a lasting impact on them, their children, and their children's children. WOW!
The more time I spend reflecting on my job as a mother, the more passionate I become about rising to the challenge! I know it is the toughest job I will ever have but I have always loved a good challenge!
(Now someone be sure and remind me to re-read this post in the future when I haven't showered in three days, my house is wreck, my kids are out of control, and I can't seem to get it together! Perspective is a powerful thing!)
Happy Friday!
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