Back to Work

Today is my first day back to work from maternity leave.  I woke up early and with the help of my husband, I was able to get a shower and get dressed.  Now I am sitting in the quiet house, ready for work.  Both boys are sleeping and I am drinking a delicious cup of coffee.  I have spent some time praying and reading God's word and it has helped to give me some peace about today. However, deep down inside I think I want the boys to stay asleep so that we never have to leave and start today.  I love having my children underneath the same roof as me.  I have loved my time at home focusing on being a wife and a mother.
I am returning as a part-time employee so this will be new turf for me.  I don't really know what it will be like to work part time with two kids.  I may love it.  Or it may still seem like too much time away from my kids.  I won't know until I try it out.
I have mixed emotions about taking Ethan to school.  I have loved my time at home with him and I feel that we are so closely connected and in sync with one another.  It scares me that someone else won't be able to know what he needs, when he needs it.  I am really having trouble holding it together as I write this.  I know and love the ladies at Little Sam who will be taking care of Ethan and I have clearly seen the benefits of school in Noah; however, I don't feel ready for this.  Time seems to be going by too fast.  Ethan is 11 weeks old today and it feels like just yesterday I brought him home.
Please pray for me today.  Pray for Ethan.  Pray for peace for my family.  Pray that I will make the best decisions for my children.
I will update later about how the day goes.